Friday, April 30, 2004

The Things I know

There are some things I know, and these things I know for sure.
1.
2.
3.

Thursday, April 29, 2004

Mistake Number 1: Asking Peoples Advice

I made the mistake of calling my friend to get his advice on dogs. He is a vet tech and they have 3 dogs, a ton of fish, and 3 or 4 parrots. Their house is like a zoo, I always tell them they should charge people to go in.

I told him I was thinking about getting a dog and that I was planning on getting a labradoodle, Labradoodles!. After I said those thing I don't think I was able to say another thing during the conversation. He told me about the cost, the responsibility of dog ownership, he basically explained the in's and out's of dog ownership according to Scott. As much as I appreciate it his concern the whole conversation was very negative. It was all about why I should NOT get a dog.
In a way he is right, there are days when I am not home during the whole week but there are days when I just sit at home and do absolutely nothing. If I was to get a dog my habits would have to change and I don't think other people think I am capable of taking care of a pet. My friend Tomas made a comment about me not having the patience for a dog. My family has been very encouraging, it just seems some of my friends don't think I am responsible or patient enough to own a dog.
Scott did give me a lot to think about, and he pointed out my activities this month and how hard it would have been to do everything I did if I had a dog.

My Decision: I am going to think about it some more. Everyone who knows me knows that I don't like to jump into anything before evaluating and analyzing every possible outcome and solution. I am still going to go to Canton this weekend to check it out and if they have the dogs there I will get to see them and play with them. It will also give me the opportunity to look at other dogs and compare the breeds.

Off to sleep I go, what I will decide nobody knows.

Super Star

Yesterday I received a call from US Customs and they are finally presenting me with my U.S. Customs Brokers Certificate. I took and passed the exam on October 7 of 2002 (also my birthday) and I passed the federal background check on June 24, 2003. Why has it taken so you long you ask? Well, they changed their name and they were not issuing licenses until the name change was complete and apparently it took over a year. I don't care, I am just glad to finally be getting my license. The year I took the exam there was a passing rate of less between of 3% to 7%, I cant remember the exact number and I am feeling to lazy to look it up, so this makes it even more special.

I do have a problem, when I spoke with the customs officer she informed me they were going to be presenting me with the certificate which means there will be cameras and other people around. All of my clothes are dirty, all of them, and I have not had a car all week because it was in the shop so I have been relying on the kindness of my friend Kerry to pick me up in the morning and bring me to work. Since I didn't have a car I have not been able to drop off my clothes at the cleaners.
Yesterday afternoon I went shopping with my friend Tomas and I could not find anything. I decided I was not going to wear a suit because it shouldn't be that formal. I am just going to wear a shirt and a tie and that should be good enough. I wanted a shirt I saw at Banana Republic but when I got there they didn't have it. I rushed over to another mall before they closed and they were also out of it. The shirt would have been perfect, it was a dress shirt with vertical orange lines. I can't remember the other colors but the colors weren't to overwhelming.

I had to go home and do laundry and iron late last night to have clothes for today. I went to bed late so this morning I am not a happy camper. When I woke up I noticed I had two noticeable zits and huge bags under my eyes. It is on days like these that I wish my mother was in town so I could borrow her make-up or that I was one of those gay guys that wore make-up. What if my picture makes it on the DFW Port Newsletter? What if everyone in the trade community sees me? What if they all notice my huge bags and my zitz? I should take my own photographer and have them re-touch the pictures :)
Anyway, I am pretty excited. I am leaving the office at 9 and I probably won't be back until around 1 or 2. I am calling this my Super Star Work Free Day!!

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Things have been a little crazy lately in my own little corner of the world. I have been considering leaving my current employer and moving on to bigger and better things. At the moment I have two prospects but I am not sure that either of them would be what I need. One of them would actually limit the interaction I have with the trade community and I would have a commute time of 40+ minutes. I have an interview on Monday morning, I am just going to stick with the process and see how much money they end up offering me. From my initial conversations I think it will be a lot more than what I am currently making. I want to leave, but I don’t know if I want to work for this company.

Or I could go to school full time, get my MBA and JD out of the way and get started with that I want to do. What that is exactly will be revealed to me at a later date.

Sometimes I think it would be so much easier if we had a map of our lives set out in front of us. We could look at it every morning or before making any major decisions and that would solve any uncertainty in life.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Day 6 of my DC trip.

I have been sitting at the airport for 3 hours. My flight has been delayed and I am so pissed off. But I had a wonderful day otherwise.

I woke up today and my intentions were to spend the day in Georgetown and do some shopping but after trying to pack my bag I realized I could not fit anything else in it. But I still wanted to go to Georgetown so I took the Metro and it was so packed. All of the people that were here for the protest were going in the same direction I was so the Metro was so crammed with people. While we were waiting at the station the Pro-Choice people and the Pro-Life people had a little word shouting contest. It was a kind of exciting. :)

While I was in the subway I was amazed about how open gay couples are here. There were two Asian boys (no more than 20 years old) and they were hugging and kissing at the station. I thought it was so cute.

Anyway, back to my original story, the Metro police had to come down and push the two groups aside. While I was walking around in Georgetown I decided it would be more interesting to go the protest so I headed back. Once I got there I was amazed at how many people where there. The news reports say there were close to a half a million there. It was amazing, there were so many different groups of people and they were all there to make a difference. I have never been in such a huge crowd of people that feel so strongly about an issue. There were the Feminist, the Pro-Choice, Pro-Life, Gay Rights, etc and they were all in their little groups. I took some great pictures of the different signs that people were holding.
There was a group called Anti-Racist Action and they were amazing. They were a bunch of people in their mid 20's all dressed in black and with black bandanas covering their faces. Part of their group was a group called the Radical Cheerleaders, they were made up of both men and women. The women were wearing some interesting outfits (torn prom dresses, handerchiefs for a shirt) and the men were wearing slips, dresses, shorts. Some of the cheers they used were really funny. There was one that I remember in particular, they were all in a circle and each person in the circle would take a turn and step in the middle, when they stepped in the middle they would deliver their message to the crowd. A sweet little Asian girl who was wearing a golf cap, plaid mini-skirt, and a pink shirt comes out and she does her cheer "My name is ______ and I have a message that is hotter than hot" the rest of the group would yell "How hot is hot?" and she replied something about people putting down prostitution but then they didn't mind when they were the ones being blown. The rest of the group starting yelling "Tip your whore, tip your local whore. Tip your whore, tip your local whore." Each cheer they did was very silly and fun but at the same time it was politically charged. I think this group was by far the most effective and got the most attention from the crowd.

I had a great time at the protest. I had to leave because I still had to go back and get my bags from the hotel and take the Metro to the airport. I thought I was going to be late, boy was I wrong. I got there and I am still here waiting.

I guess the waiting isn't so bad, I got to finish reading the book "How the Garcia Girls lost their accent". But I won't get to see my little brother, he came home this weekend and he was going to wait until 6 p.m. before he left back home. I had to call him and tell him to go home. Who knows when I will be home, they keep pushing the time back more and more each time I look up. I will stop looking up...maybe they won't change it anymore.

Wish me a safe flight home and remember....Tip your whore, tip your local whore!!!

Saturday, April 24, 2004

Day 5 of my DC trip:
My feet are killing me. They hurt so much I wish I had a boyfriend to rub them.

I did a lot today!!! And I am to tired to write details about everything I did so I will just summarize for most of them and give details of my favorite ones.
I did the following:
Library of Congress
Supreme Court - Beautiful Building
Capitol
The reflecting Pool by the Capital
Three different squares by the Capitol
Botanical Gardens
Voices of America
Bartholdi Fountain - Great little square, this has a beautiful fountain that was designed by the same guy that designed the Statue of Liberty. I took some pictures, I hope they come out.
National Gallery of Art - All I can say is WOW
The National Gallery of Art Park - WOW
Smithsonian Castle
Freer Gallery
Washington Monument
The Armory - Story to follow

Did I mention that my feet are killing me?

If I had only gone to the National Gallery of Art today I would have been happy. The collection they have and the building are amazing. You can easily get lost in this building.
I loved the Degas, de la Tour, and Cezanne (?) paintings but my favorite thing about this museum is that they had three special collections on display. The first one was called Courtly Art of the Ancient Maya. I took a tour and they had some incredible pieces of art on display. It made me wonder how my people let such a great civilization collapse, but it also made me realize the success that we are capable of. I am glad to have the Mexican Indian line in my blood.
The second exhibit was on Diego Rivera, I have never really been a big Diego fan and I knew I wasn't going to enjoy it. His paintings are to cubist for my taste. There were two paintings that I liked, one of them was En La Fuente de Toledo and the other one was Retrato de Adolfo Best Maugard.
The other special exhibit they had was Milestones in Mexican Cinema from 1898 to 2003. They were showing some of the best Mexican films of the Mexican Golden Age. Most people don't know that Mexico produced some of the best films in the world between the 1930's and 1950's. I got caught up in the excitement and I bought a book titled "Cine Mexicano; Posters from the Golden Age 1936-1956". I haven't looked at it but I will get to it as soon as I get back home.

I think I already mentioned the protest that were going on in DC this week. While I was at the Mall (not the shopping mall but the national mall) every political/environmental/feminist etc was out there trying to get you to sign petitions and stuff. Everyone seemed to have big yellow bags that said Big Gay Bag so I had to get one. I asked one of the ladies where she got it and she sent me to the Armory which was kind of far from where I was. I decided to hop on the Metro and go get a bag, once I got there all the same groups that were out in the Mall were here with booths trying to get you to become a member, sign their petition, or sell you their shirt/button/crap. I did but some really good anti-bush buttons. I also ran into a lady from Fort Worth, she lives in North Richland Hills and works for EDS.

On the way back to the Metro I was walking behind a lady (mid 20's) that was carrying all kind of signs for the protest tomorrow. She looked back and smiled at me so I smiled back. When she went through the Metro gate she looked back at me and smiled again. Me being the dork that I am, was having problems with the gate so I just smiled. When I got down to the platform she was waiting for me and she started talking. I can never tell if people are flirting with me but I really think she was. If I was straight it would have been a compliment, she was very pretty. It turns out she is from Houston and is here to march in the Woman's Right protest on Sunday. The same groups that are holding the protest are having a party at the armory tonight and we might go together. Not quite sure if I will go since my feet hurt so much; besides, I want to go to Dupont Circle.

I changed Metro lines and headed over to the spy museum. Once I got off the Metro I started walking and I walked right into China Town. I debated having Chinese food for dinner b/c it always seems to make me sick and at the end I decided to have dinner at Chipotle. A good safe choice.
I walked through the streets of China Town and thoughts of Antonio came back to me. Last time he was in DC visiting his parents he brought me back a Japanese tea set in China Town and as I walked through the streets it was a little comforting to know he had walked through those same streets before. I walked in some of the stores and I am pretty sure I know where he bought it.
Ultimamente se me a metido en la cabeza y no lo puedo sacar. No se por que lo quiero tanto.

After such a long day....here I am. I am still trying to figure out where I am going tonight. I would love to sleep but it would be a shame to waste my time sleeping while I am here. I just have to make sure I am back here by 3 a.m. b/c that is when the Metro stops running and a taxi would cost me about $23.

I think I am going to go and rub my feet. Good Night.

Friday, April 23, 2004

Day 4 of my DC trip:
Today I realized how boring compliance people are and it got me thinking, do I want to be part of this profesion? After careful consideration I have decided that I don't. I don't want to be part of boring compliance profesionals. What else I will do, I don't know.
The conference went well today. I met some more people and they all seemed fairly nice. I found the only other person in the whole conference that did not deal with high tech items and we had a nice chat. She gave me good suggestions and ideas for what we need to do with our compliance manual. Which I was suppose to finish this year but now that everything has been pushed back I don't think I will even get started.

I had to check out of the Washington Hilton today and move to a more reasonable hotel now that my employer is not paying for it. I checked my bags in and before I left for the conference and I decided that I would just pick them up after dinner when I was ready to head over to the new hotel. After the conference I had to swing by the FedEx office and ship the conference materials back home. I wasn't counting on the ACI people giving me TWO huge binders of information. There is no way I was going to walk around DC in the afternoon and cary those things with me.

Today I decided to keep it low key because I was so tired. I went back to the White House to take pictures in the day time but when I got there they had put up baricades due to the protest against the World Bank and the protest for Pro-Choice/Feminist/Equal Rights people. I don't think I got such good pictures today. I also went to the Federal building, the building I thought was better than the White House and it turns out I don't like it after all. For some reason I was thinking it was a French Rococco building painted in Red. The architecture is French but it is not red and it is not Rococco, after I saw it again today I lost my appreciation for the building.

By now it was close to 7 so I decided to head back to the first hotel and pick up my luggage. As I was hedding back it started pouring. I had 3 blocks to go so I decided to just start running, by the time I got to my hotel I was soaking wet. I hope I don't get sick.
I picked up my bags and went to my new hotel in Ballston (Virginia). I really like this place, it is about 10 minutes from Down Town Washinton by Metro but it has a totally different feel to it. The buildings are new and small..it feels like a down town L.A. with half the people. The hotel I am not to impressed with, when I got here their system was down so I had to wait for over 20 minutes in the lobby while they tried to figure it out. Tonight I am just going to sleep....not to exciting...but I am so tired.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

Day 3 of my DC trip:

It turns out my conference is not as interesting as I thought it was going to be. They are covering a bunch of crap that I am not interested in. They did cover some stuff that I had been doing research so I was able to ask questions to a very knowledgeable panel.

EVERYONE at the conference is OLD, WHITE, and HETEROSEXUAL!!!! I am living my worst nightmare. It actually isn't that bad, there is a nice piece of eye candy but he is straight. But everyone there is either a lawyer or they work for the government. About 30% work in the private sector but everyone works in high tech and the seminar is mainly geared towards them.

One of my goals for the year is to learn more about the high tech industry and the rules and regulations that govern the industry, I guess this is a step towards completing that goal.

Today my original plan was to go to China Town and then head over to Dupont Circle but the weather had other plans for me. As I was walking towards China Town it started raining and I didn't want to run the risk of getting drenched so I turned back around and took cover in the nearest restaurant I could find. Besides, Nick told me that it wasn't worth going over there anyway. The first restaurant I found was Cosi Cosi, actually it is just Cosi but I like the way it sounds when you say it twice. You try it...Cosi Cosi. Doesn't that sound better? This restaurant reminded me of a more flavorable version of an Atlanta Bread Company restaurant. Nick mentioned this restaurant on Wednesday so I figured I would give it a try. It wasn't bad. I sat by the window and watched the people run by trying to take cover from the rain. The rain didn't last very long and everything returned back to normal in a matter of minutes. It was interesting to watch all of the people walk by. They all seem to be cut from he same mold, they didn't seem to have their own identity. It was strange...everyone was wearing the same kind of clothing, shoes, hair style, etc.

After dinner I went back to the hotel to relax for a bit. After I was rejuvenated I decided to slip on a pair of shorts and my running shoes and go for a jog. I ran through Dupont Circle up to Adam's Morgan and back down through Dupont Circle. I immediately fell in love with this area of town. The area is so full of character and energy. Everyone there seemed to be in their 20's and 30's and there were so many restaurants with outdoor seating. I loved it. I walked around the neighborhood for a while and and then I joged back to the hotel.

When I got back I had a bit of an uncomfortable moment with the concierge. I was trying to find a bar/club close to the hotel to have a drink later that night. She didn't really help me...she wasn't rude...but you could tell she didn't want to give me information. And she didn't. She pointed me to Dupont Circle....I had to stand there wait for her to give other patrons directions but not me....I am different. I got back to my room and I placed a complaint.

I found a nice little bar in Dupont Circle, everyone was young and professional. I met a guy there named David and he was very nice. He lived close to my hotel so we balked back together....I know what you are thinking...but nothing happened. He went his way and I went mine. I might call him on Saturday and hang out if I decide to go out to the bars. I think I will :) He was cute.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Day two of my DC trip:
I slept like a baby, there was so much construction noises and traffic noises but I still managed to sleep like I don't sleep back home. Maybe it is the sounds of the big city that make me feel comfortable and put me to sleep. Who knows.

I had lunch with Nick before my conference started. He came by my hotel and we went to a sea food restaurant around the corner. He is a great guy, he has this quality about him that makes you trust him and tell him things you normally wouldn't tell other people. We talked about work, people at work, his job, the project etc. He got me thinking about what I need to do with my career/school/personal life. But I think I am more confused now.....I don't know if I should consider the job I was offered....or if I should just go back to school....
and the thing I am more confused about is about his sexuality. He has some of the classic signs of a closet homo...when he talks about people he talks about them as in they....we...us...he never specifies if they are male or female. He lives in an area that is largely gay, and I like him. He needs to be gay ;)
One more thing he said that made me think about how my life is back home. We were talking about the big city noises and the life and he said he liked it b/c it made him feel like he wasn't alone. Maybe that is why I like the city noises....I know there is someone just outside waiting to be discovered. Back home I have to turn on the radio or the Thai to hear any noise.

The conference went really well, I learned a lot and I realized how much I don't know about high tech items. That is one of my personal goals this year, besides taking the GMAT and the LSAT, I need to learn more about high tech controls and requirements.

I took a tour of all of the major monuments tonight and it was awesome. We went to the FDR Memorial and there were some really cool pillars with faces on them. I took a whole bunch of pictures of them and hopefully I will be able to enlarge them and frame them. We also sent to the Lincoln Memorial, the Vietnam memorial (I found a few Reyna's on the wall), the Jefferson Memorial, the Iwo Jima Memorial, and the Korean Memorial. All of them were crowded and there were kids EVERYWHERE!!!! But it was beautiful, they were all light up and hopefully I will be able to show my pictures to everyone. I really hope they come out, I was trying to use my experimental techniques from my photography classes a few years ago and I have forgotten most of them.

Oh, and update on the food. But first a little background on why I do the things I do:When I go on a trip, especially by myself, I like to walk and explore the city. I love taking trips by myself, it is such a great time to explore the city, explore your self, and learn things about what you are capable of doing. One of the things I learn every time I go on a trip by myself is how friendly I can be. I always think of myself as a shy person but when I am in a different city I make friends wherever I go. I made friends at the conference and at the hotel bar, the hotel bar is always the best place to make friends. Another thing I learned about myself is how much I love the big city life. Walking around in a fast paced environment with everyone walking fast....seeing them walk fast makes me walk fast...not b/c I have somewhere to go but b/c I get so caught up in the moment that I just have to walk. So I walked, and I walked (we are back to the food story) and I found a restaurant that specialized in empanadas, actually, that is all they really had. Well, that and jugos Jumex and soup. I had the vegetarian empanada and the vegan soup....I have been thinking about becoming a vegetarian again but that is another story....and the food was very reasonably priced. I spent under $7 for my dinner and it was so good. I had been craving empanadas for a while and that fixed my craving.

I am going to try to go back before I leave. The restaurant is off of Conneticut Ave and it is called "Julia's Empanadas". They also have 3 other locations in the DC area. The service wasn't great, the guy seemed to be in a bad mood but after trying the food it made me forget about that.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

I just arrived in DC and I love it!!!!
The flight was a little long but it was very smooth. I had to sit next to an old lady who fell asleep and kept snoring throughout the flight. Every now and then I would cough and she would wake up. I always get to sit next to old lady's and fat people on plane's....it is my destiny.
As soon as I checked into my hotel I went and checked out the town. I was surprised by the appearance of the city, it is a lot cleaner and a lot safer than what people make it out to be. There are people jogging at all hours of the day and night. I love it here. It makes me feel like I am in a mini-New York. Not as fashionable but still...very sophisticated and cultured.
Tonight I walked around the White House and I wasn't very impressed. It seems a lot smaller than it does on T.V. There are also a lot of homeless people lurking around the area. I liked the Federal Building a lot more, it has a lot more character than the White House.

That's day one of my trip.
Oh, one more thing. Food here is really expensive and things close really early. Around 9 p.m. I was looking for a restaurant for dinner and I could not find anything that was open. I finally found a Chinese place called China Dragon and it was EXPENSIVE. For a plate of food and a drink it was over $20. What kind of Chinese food is that? And it wasn't even that great. The coke itself was over $2. Crazy stuff.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Estoy tan aburido que no se que hacer!!!!
Ayudame Porfa!!!!
Acabo de ir a Starbucks por un cafe, espero que esto me despierte un poco y me ayude a seguir con mi dia.
Tengo una junta a las 4, si no me fuera a casa. Que voy hacer?
Estas ahi? Ayudame!!!
Maybe I should get a Dog. I really want a Springer Spaniel because they are so smart but I may just get a smaller dog. I love the Havanesse but they have long hair and probably shed a lot. I want a dog that doesn't shed much if at all.
I am scared of dogs....so I will have to get a dog that is very friendly and one that doesn't require much exercise.
Uhhhhmmm, I think I just described a cat!??!

I am not really sure what's going on but I don't like it!!!
For some reason, these past few days I have been feeling extremely alone. I have been surrounded by people all week but yet there is something else missing.
I have been thinking about my ex a lot lately and I think that part of that reason is because I have been hanging around Tomas. There are certain things that he does that remind me of him. Part of it is his "care-free" attitude, another part is his I come first way of doing things. I am not saying he is selfish but he has things he needs to get done and it seems he expects everyone else to conform to his schedule. I never did that with Antonio, I am not doing it with Tomas.
I don't like Tomas in a romantic sort of way.

So last night I decided to call Ethan and see what he was doing. I called and he did not answer....Again....I left a message and basically told him that I wanted to know if he was mad at me and not calling me back because I had already left him a couple of messages. I told him that I wanted to know so that I did not waste my time and so that I did not waste his.
If he is not mature enough to tell someone when he is upset at them then I am not going to worry about his friendship. He was way to many issues and I don't feel like shouldering any of them at this time. I have my own things to deal with.

On a good note: I am off on Friday!!!!!!
I am having a home security system installed and I am going to mow the lawn. I may go do some shopping or go to the museum. I am not sure how much free time I am going to have or how long it will take them to install the security system. IT is just going to be GREAT to have the day off and relax a bit. I do need to clean the house so I will do some of that.....maybe draw or paint a little. I also need to get my camera out and start playing around with it. It has spent way to many years in the closet.

Monday, March 15, 2004

It was a weekend...a long weekend. Those are not words you hear often but I will give you some time to digest.

I tried the whole cooking thing again this weekend and I have decided I am a horrible cook. Horrible. I was trying out a new recipe from a magazine and I did everything exactly as the recipe called for, or so I thought, and at the end it didn't quite taste right. My friends Sarah & Will come over right as I was about to finish and we looked at the recipe again...apparently "let stand" means turn off the flame. Why couldn't they just say that? While Will was there he went through other cooking terms that I will need to know if I am going to try this again. I am seriously considering sticking with making sandwiches and boiling water.

Will is going to come over next weekend and he is going to stay with me as I cook. I don't really want him to come over because when he does I usually just let him take over and does all of the cooking while I sit down drink wine with Sarah (Good Times) or I just watch. Hopefully that won't happen this coming weekend, we have already talked about it so hopefully we will both be able to refrain from "sticking" to our pattern.

Tomas kept saying that he would help me learn how to cook but to this date he has not done it. We have talked about it several times but when it comes down to it he doesn't do it. And I hate to ask him again, I don't want to be a bother. Hopefully with Will's help I will become the best Chef that ever walked FW. :)

Friday, January 02, 2004

So I ran into the ex today. Well, I didn't really run into him...here's the story. I was taking my nephew downtown for ice cream and we were driving down the street and he was in front of me. I saw him through his side mirror and all of those old feelings came right back. I don't know how to explain how I feel about him right now. It has been 8 months since we broke up but I still feel like I need closure. The way we broke up was just weird and it was partly my fault but I won't go into that here. After we broke up we ran into each other a few times and each time we saw each other he kept telling me "Let's have coffee sometime." Now, I know that when he says stuff like that it is just the politician in him coming out but I use to hate it when he would tell me, and others, stuff that he did not mean. He sent me a e-greeting for my b-day and in it he said "give me a call sometime" and gave me his number. I had deleted his number a long time ago so there was no way I would have called him if he had just said to give him a call without the number. So I decided to put him to the test, I was going to call him and see how he was doing....and then I was going to ask him out for coffee just to catch up. I was 99.9% sure that he did not want to get together for coffee but I wanted him to stop telling me that whenever we saw each other. So I called him one Thursday morning...we talked, caught up, and made plans to get together the following Thursday for coffee at 7:30. Thursday comes and at 6:59 he calls and cancels. I was expecting him to do that so I had already made plans to hang out with other people. He had a good excuse though and he suggested that we get together the following Tuesday. I agreed but again, I figured he was going to cancel. This time I did more than just make plans, I was out of town the following Tuesday but I went ahead and made plans with him b/c I was SURE he was going to cancel. Sure enough, he calls me on Tuesday 7:00 p.m. his time and wants to know if we can reschedule. This time we just chat for a while and at the end tells me that he is busy and that he will give me a call when he has time to get together. I wish I had told him that I wasn't even in town so that he knew I was on to him but I didn't and I wasn't planning on it, all I wanted him to do was to STOP telling me that he wanted to get together.
Anyway, seeing him again today brought those feelings of anger/resentment/love again. But all of those emotions are best left for another night. I know we broke up for a reason...and I am sure it was a good one.......so I will just leave it at that.
Maybe I should do what my other friends do...jump around from man to man until I get over the last one. It is a thought....we will see.

Monday, December 29, 2003

Christmas was great. I got so much stuff that I never thought I needed but apparently other people think differently. A tie rotator? Who needs a tie rotator? Of course I acted surprised (shock was more like it) and I told them that I loved it. I loved it....I can be such a good actor sometimes. I also got a food processor. Is that something you give out at Christmas? That I kind of like...but I am not sure if I would use it.
I am sure some of the gifts I am gave out to people are going to end up at the back of their closets and will never be seen again or they will be given to the salvation army where a homeless person is going to pay .50 for a smoore maker (that is something I got also). Like they really need a smoore maker....or a trivet. But I am very grateful for everything I got, some of it wasn't expensive, some of it was just silly, but it shows that I have tons of people that are thinking of me this holiday season.

Some of my family has gone back home but I still have a lot of people that come over to visit my parents during the day. Sometimes I just need to get away so I go for drives......maybe I should go to the library and study for the LSAT...that could be a good idea but I had not thought about that until now......Action Item Number 1: Study for the LSAT. Anyway...the point was that I need to get away at time so I leave the house and just hang out somewhere else.

Over all it was a pretty normal weekend. Since my dad is in town we worked on the house and tried to fix a few things. We installed new awnings and trip to the exterior, new gutters, shutters, a new door for the garage, painted the awnings and trim, and he fixed my shower. When I say we what I really mean is they. My brother in laws, my brothers, and an uncle. All I really did was watch, pay for the supplies they need and make comments. I am not very good at the manual labor thing, what if I got a blister? Who would have taken care of me? Who? All kidding aside, every once in a while I do enjoy manual labor but for the most part I try to stay away from it.
I also wanted them to redo my restroom. I want a new garden tub, new tile, a new cabinet, and a new faucet but my dad didn't think he was going to have time to do all of it before he had to leave. I take what I can, I would rather have the free labor than have to pay for some complete stranger to do it for me. The point of my little story is that I spent a lot of money this weekend but it was all worth it.

In other news: I decided that that I wanted a corduroy jacket and a denim jacket. When I went to the mall to get them the prices just shocked me. How could a denim jacket cost $200, $120, and $80? That is a huge price difference. I can't see myself paying that much money for a jacket I could get for $10 at a thrift store....so that started another adventure. I went to one of the local Thrift Stores to find my denim jacket and all I could find was really old (1920's) jackets that I would never wear. Is it worth paying $80 for a jacket?
I did find a brown leather jacket for $49.25 that I totally wanted. I tried it on and it fit me perfectly. This place only takes cash and I only had $50 and didn't have enough to cover the tax. So I went back home to get cash but after telling my family about it they thought I could go to a leather good store and buy a new jacket for about $100. I am going to go and check these leather shops out but the reason I wanted the one at the thrift store is that it had character and it would have completed that vintage look....a look that I hardly ever pull off. Actually, that would have been my first vintage item ever....and I already had some ideas about what I was going to wear the jacket with.
I am going back after work, if they still have it and if I can get them to take off about $20 off the price I will get it.

Life is great!!!

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

It is turning out to be a Christmas to remember!!!
Yesterday my stove broke and we had to go out and buy a new one, today I got a call at work and I had just purchased some stuff to decorate the house for all of the people that are coming into town and the kids that are visiting have torn/broken/damaged a few things. I was not very happy. I realize now that I will NEVER EVER want kids of my own. I love them when they are someone else's but if I was to have them full time then I would probably loose my patience after a few minutes. One of my friends tells me that he would not trust me with a plant, and he has every reason not to, I have killed so many plants in my life. I am not the most patient person in the world, I will admit that. But these kids...gesh...do they listen?
Anyway, a few things were broken and now I have to go and replace them.

Work was great today. I got SOHO much done. With everyone being out of the office this week and me not having any meetings I started to clean and organize my desk. I think I can finally see a piece of what use to be my desk top. I knew that under all of those papers there use to be a desk but it had been a while since I had seen it. By tomorrow I am going to make so much progress that even I am going to be impressed. I am also starting to delegate more stuff that I was holding on to. This will free me up to work on other things that I have pending.

Not a very eventful day by any means but productive nevertheless.
I woke up this morning and it feels like I only slept for 15 minutes. I went to bed and I could not fall asleep and after I did, I tossed and turned all night. I had some freaky dreams last night, more than usual. I woke up this morning right on time and I took a shower but I didn't have the motivation to get ready for work so I just went back to bed. It felt great. I am so glad that I have a job where I can come in whenever I want and nobody even notices.

I am suppose to take a friend to get his guishe pierced, Ouch!!!!, but I would rather just go home and sleep. Who knows, if I go along I might end up getting something pierced too. That is how it has always worked in the past, I go with a friend to get a tattoo or a piercing and I end up getting a piercing.

I did get to see the love of my life on t.v. this morning. I woke up to David Muir on ABC news. David Muir is the anchor for ABC's World News Now and World News this morning. I like to wake up and watch him give his brief summary of the events going on in the world and then when he does the closing and he has his little smirk/smile....it just does something to me. Here is a link http://abcnews.go.com/sections/WNN/WorldNewsNow/muir_david_bio.html
I have not been able to find a good picture of him (not that I have looked very hard).

My statement of the day: Sleep is Good!!!!

Monday, December 22, 2003

I have THE traditional Mexican family. The holidays are here and I have A LOT of family members visiting from out of town. I thought it was going to be GREAT to have everyone together again but after a few days of spending time with them I realize that as much as I love them I love my "Me" time more. Don't get me wrong, I love the parents, the siblings, and nieces and nephews but after a few hours of visiting I think it is time for you to go home. When you come over for lunch and you are still around for dinner.....that is way to long. I always say I am going to go on some exotic vacation during the holidays but it never happens. I think of all of the fun I would have missed out on and at the end I decide to go where the family is. How can one miss out on all of the food, the laughter, and the look on the kids faces when they open their gifts on Christmas eve. Those are just some things I can't pass on. Not yet anyway, perhaps when I have a family of my own it will be a necessity but until then I figure that I might as well enjoy it.

I am glad they are here, I have not seen my parents in a few months and I have not seen one of my sisters in about a year. I love the time I can spend with my brothers and sisters without their husbands and their kids. It reminds me of the days when we were all young and use to have so much fun together. Whenever we get together we bring up all of the mischief we use to cause and everyone always walks away the pain you get in your stomach from laughing to much. Do you know that feeling?