Friday, January 02, 2004

So I ran into the ex today. Well, I didn't really run into him...here's the story. I was taking my nephew downtown for ice cream and we were driving down the street and he was in front of me. I saw him through his side mirror and all of those old feelings came right back. I don't know how to explain how I feel about him right now. It has been 8 months since we broke up but I still feel like I need closure. The way we broke up was just weird and it was partly my fault but I won't go into that here. After we broke up we ran into each other a few times and each time we saw each other he kept telling me "Let's have coffee sometime." Now, I know that when he says stuff like that it is just the politician in him coming out but I use to hate it when he would tell me, and others, stuff that he did not mean. He sent me a e-greeting for my b-day and in it he said "give me a call sometime" and gave me his number. I had deleted his number a long time ago so there was no way I would have called him if he had just said to give him a call without the number. So I decided to put him to the test, I was going to call him and see how he was doing....and then I was going to ask him out for coffee just to catch up. I was 99.9% sure that he did not want to get together for coffee but I wanted him to stop telling me that whenever we saw each other. So I called him one Thursday morning...we talked, caught up, and made plans to get together the following Thursday for coffee at 7:30. Thursday comes and at 6:59 he calls and cancels. I was expecting him to do that so I had already made plans to hang out with other people. He had a good excuse though and he suggested that we get together the following Tuesday. I agreed but again, I figured he was going to cancel. This time I did more than just make plans, I was out of town the following Tuesday but I went ahead and made plans with him b/c I was SURE he was going to cancel. Sure enough, he calls me on Tuesday 7:00 p.m. his time and wants to know if we can reschedule. This time we just chat for a while and at the end tells me that he is busy and that he will give me a call when he has time to get together. I wish I had told him that I wasn't even in town so that he knew I was on to him but I didn't and I wasn't planning on it, all I wanted him to do was to STOP telling me that he wanted to get together.
Anyway, seeing him again today brought those feelings of anger/resentment/love again. But all of those emotions are best left for another night. I know we broke up for a reason...and I am sure it was a good one.......so I will just leave it at that.
Maybe I should do what my other friends do...jump around from man to man until I get over the last one. It is a thought....we will see.

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