I am always on the go to some sort of social activity. Some of my friends think I am a "social butterfly" but that couldn't be furthest from the truth. I secretly abhor being thrown into situations where I have to talk to strangers.
I should probably clarify, I don't have a social anxiety disorder, I just don't like making mindless chit-chat with strangers that I will probably never see again. I use alcohol as my social lubricator and after a drink or two I will talk to anyone about anything...as mindless as it may be.
Unfortunately, I have to do it. So I am trying to break out of my cycle and learn to enjoy it and be better at it. If that is even possible. So I have been reading a book about networking and how improving memorization skills. I also tend to forget names. I can remember faces and event entire conversation but don't ask me to remember your name.
Does anyone have any tips on mingling?
18 years ago
11 comments:
Haha...You said, "social lubricator"
I believe the art of conversation is an acquired skill. Not everyone possess it and I don't think it's a 'natural' talent. It's thru practice and experience methinks.
If it wasn't for your job, etc., do you think you'd be interested in talking to people as much as you are now? I don't drink, so maybe that's the reason why I'm such a hermit! :-)
Oh as far as memorizing names, I suck at it, too.
I too am horrible at mingling. While I'm not shy, I just don't like small talk.
I really don't want to talk about the weather, someone's children or their reaction to the break up of Nick and Jessica.
My trick...just ask alot of open ended questions. That way they'll have to do all the talking and you'll look interested.
I abhor the term "networking." Ick. Basically it means engaging in mindless chit chat in the futile hope that this complete stranger might someday be able to do something that's to my benefit.
My advice is going to sound idyllic, I know. I say scrap the whole "networking" mindset. Keep in mind that the world is full of interesting, unique individuals. Folks you'll only get to know if you talk to them.
If that doesn't work, stick with the open ended questions. That's a good plan B.
Open ended questions...good idea. Seem very interested regardless of the topic...and when in doubt, run in a corner and do a shot.
I abhor the word abhor. Do you abhor what I abhor? Or do you just abhor that I abhor abhor?
I hope you don't abhor me for it.
Ahhh yea, I feel ya. It was a horror for me having to talk to strangers before. My mom's a complete opposite and I used to let go of her hand and stand 10-20 ft away whenever she does it.
I think it helps to just relax and not think of what to say too much. Just go with the flow, though alcohol certainly helps lol
I used to read books about these things though not one of the advice is coming up at all. Oh actually, ask them questions about themselves. And when they answer, do pay attention to what they say. People love nothing more than being lavished with attention. Well not all of us, but there's quite a bunch out there who do (^_^)
Hey, I finally wrote that post that we were talking about. It's called 'Flip This Friend'. Be sure and comment if I left anything out.
If you forget a person's name in a party, just called the person with fabulous names like "Hey You Sexy Thing" or "Hey Gorgeous". If you are forced to introduce that person to your friend, then you should use that trick too, like "Oh...this is Mr. Gorgeous that I've known for..." and let the other two parties do the proper introduction themselves.
Good luck!
Mikey, I think your a genious!
Even though I don't think that will work as well for a straight woman. But I can totally see how it could work for gay men everywhere. I'm still going to try it next time I am in a pinch.
I bow down in the shadow of your greatness.
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