It's a sad, sad day!

I have been working on a pretty big project for the last year and a half here at work. This project takes about 120% of my time and I am learning a lot of things that I would have not otherwise been exposed to. I am not a very technical person but for this project I had to pick up on the language and I had to develop an IT brain in order to survive.
Part of what made this project such a pleasure to work on was the people that are involved from within my company and from the consulting company. One of the guys from the consulting company is extremely smart, really nice, and a good looking guy. During one of my work related trips I had to opportunity to visit his city and we got together and had a nice long conversation. We were notified that he had resigned from his current company and would be going to work for a company based in the West Coast. I am going to miss him, he was a lot of fun to talk to and I still had a lot to learn from him.

Nothing in particular.

It was a very uneventful weekend.
My friend Kerry came back from her Honeymoon today and she came to pick up her bunny (did I mention I was bunny-sitting?). It was kind of sad to see Jax, short for Jacqueline, go back home. She has been keeping me company for the last week and I think I really need a pet. On to other topics.

I started taking a new supplement called Rev and it really screwed me up. All day long I was very jittery and did not feel my best. I was having these crazy thoughts about how little I have accomplished (I know it is not true, it must have been the pills talking) in my short life so I stayed really busy all day. It did make me think about some things I want to work on. I won't write to anything about them b/c I don't want to talk about it to much but hopefully these new ideas will keep me busy for a while. I love projects.

I made it a point to visit with all of my sisters and their families today. It was really nice to see the kids, they bring such a smile to my face. It really makes me want some of my own.

Sarah and Will came over for dinner and we had a nice little chat and now I have left-overs for tomorrow's lunch.

Life is great.

Federal Marriage Amendment

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The Federal Marriage Amendment is expected to come to a vote in the US Senate in early July. We must let our Senators know that we do NOT want discrimination written into the constitution!
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Federal Marriage Amendment

The weekend

It was an interesting weekend.
On Friday I was my freinds +1 of 2 to a company thing he had to go to. The even it self was fun, it was like a "Who's Who" of gayville. The event was open bar so that made it even better, I don't think I would have been able to endure this event without the help of alcohol. I really do not like being in a room with that many gay people while they are all judging you and comenting on your hair, clothes, and shoes.
My friend had to go and mingle with the people since it was the company he works for that was putting on this event so I had the opportunity to speak with +2 of 2 (also known as Valley Boy or Nice Ass by others). We had met many times before but we had never had the opportunity to actually have a conversation and I found him to be a decent guy. He is actually a nice guy and is as normal as the rest of us. We had a good conversation about relationships and A LOT to drink.

After the event we decided to hit the bars and I had a blast. We hit a few of our regular bars and we went to all of the bars that we have always wanted to go to but were to afraid to try.
First stop was JR's and on the way there I ran into a girl named Kelly that I use to hang out with years ago. It was very uncomfortable.
Next we went to Havana and the drinks there were expensive so we probably won't be going there again.
Next on our Tour of Gay Dallas was The Metro. Metro is a gay black bar, we have always wanted to go but we were always to afraid so we decided to go tonight. Unfortunately we choose Lady's night so there weren't that many guys there so we have decided to go back another weekend when there are more people there.
Our fourth stop was ast the Eagle. The leather bar. I know what you are thinking but it wasn't as bad as you would have thought. I was actually a bit disapointed. +2 of 2 and I were both wearing business casual clothing since we had come from the company event so we did not fit in as well as we would have liked to so we did get a lot of looks. I did see some assless chaps but other than that it was pretty normal.
Next we headed to the Male Box. The dancers were cute but it was a bit trashy for my taste.
Our last stop on our night out was Kaliente. This is always a great place but that night the music was especially bad. We were only there for about 20 minutes and we went to dinner/breakfast at Victors Taqueria.

My neice got married on Saturday so I did the family thing for a while on Saturday night. Everytime I get around my extended family I feel so uncomfortable. I did get to see my aunt who I have not seen in a few months so that was great.

Ohh, my sister had a baby on Friday so I am an uncle again. He was a huge baby, 8 lbs 7 oz and 21 inches long. He is the cutest little thing.

That is all I have for now.

Alejandra Guzman

So...my friend who always gives me tickets to concerts sent me an email yesterday and asked me if I wanted to go with him to the Alejandra Guzman concert. I am so excited because I like her and I wanted to see her but she was selling her tickets in the $100 price range and I was not about to pay that much for a concert.

Sales

What is it about sales that make you want to buy things you don't need or want?
I just came back from lunch and the Pier 1 store off of Collins and 30 is closing so everything is 75% off. I almost bought three throws because they were really cheap. Luckily I was able to talk myself out of buying three of them and at the end only bought one. I was going to give the other two to my sisters but still did I really need to buy three? I bought a stool and a few other decorative items. At the end I walked out with $38 worth of stuff. Not to bad considering I usually can't contain myself around sales.

Thursday

Thursday was an extremely nerve racking day. I was fine for most of the day until I was asked if I was nervous about meeting up with my ex and that is when the nerves kicked in.
I really thought he was going to cancel on me again and at 5:03 he called to tell me he was running late and would not be there until 6 p.m.
We met up at our old coffee shop and we talked for two hours. There wasn't a moment of awkwardness, for the most part it was just two people having coffee and catching up on what has been going on in their lives for the past year. I felt really comfortable with him and at times it felt as if nothing had changed. But so many things have changed. A lot has been going on in his life and we had a chance to catch up on that.
After our time was up I went home feeling very relaxed and happy. Even if we don't see each other again I am left with a good feeling and I think that is all I needed.

Laredo

My trip to Laredo was very productive. We got a lot accomplished on the first day we were there so we did not have any meetings on Tuesday.
Our meetings were not over until late in the evening on Monday so by the time we crossed the border most of the shops and little markets were already closed. Everything, except the bars, close at 8 p.m. in the Nuevo Laredo side. We were able to find a liquor store and we each bought a bottle of tequila.

The next day we woke up early and left the hotel around 8:30 to start our day of shopping. My co-worker just got a new apartment and she was looking for plates and other kitchen accessories in the bright blues and reds. We went to so many shops looking for these things and finally we found something in the Nuevo Laredo side. We also found another great deal on tequila, we went to this little shop a few blocks from the main street and the tequila was really cheap so we had to buy more bottles. I think I have enough liquor to last me the rest of the year.

Our flight got delayed for almost 4 hours so we were stuck in the airport for all of that time. We were both very tired so we were not the most pleasant people to be around with. At one point I got locked out of the airport, after we were notified of our flight delay I wanted to go downstairs to the ONLY store in the airport and when I tried to come back up I was told they were going to be closing the gates and I would have to wait for 40 minutes until the gate workers came back up. To top it all off the Laredo International Airport did not have running water in the restrooms. It was a crazy few hours. I finally got home and I was so tired that I just wanted to get to bed.

That is all I have...Unfortunately I don't have anything exciting to report.

Weekend Update

This turned out to be a GREAT weekend. I was extremely busy but I had a lot of fun.
On Friday I went to the rehearsal dinner for my friend Kerry's wedding at Reata's and the food was great. She had the rehearsal dinner on the rooftop patio and for this time of the year in TX she got really lucky. The weather was perfect for terrace sitting, the wind was blowing, the birds were chirping, and we had a perfect view of the Oscar de la Hoya promotion fights that were going on in Sundance Square. My friend Ivan agreed to go with me and after the dinner we went to Vivid for a little while. I was very tired so we left the bar kind of early.

On Saturday we had the wedding and again Ivan was my date. Kerry looked beautiful!!! Her dress was amazing and it looked as if she was glowing. I was an usher. After the ceremony I met Ivan at the reception and we hanged out there until around 10:30 until we left to meet up with Chico and his friends and Seyd and Ash and their friends.
Drinking with these folks is always a lot of fun. It was Chico's b-day so he got pretty wasted but we all had a good time. Except maybe Sebastian and Ben, after we went to the second bar they decided to leave b/c it was to hot.

That is really it for the weekend. On Sunday I slept all day and made a miserable attempt to try to get ready for my trip to Laredo. I ended up packing on Monday morning and I was in a rush to get to the airport.

The Ex

There are lots of updates from the last 4 or 5 days but I will have to post them in several different post as I get a chance.
I am back in town and I have so much to catch up on.

THE EX:
The ex and I have been emailing each other back and forth and we have decided to meet for coffee on Thursday after work. He choose "our old coffee shop" because he wanted to "see how it was holding up". I thought that was very sweet.

I am not really expecting anything. I just want to catch up and see how he is doing. He was a BIG part of my life for 7 months and I can't see myself not talking to him for the rest of my life. I don't want to get back together and I don't want to fall in love with him. But who knows, I have not sat down and talked to him in a while so we will see how the conversation goes.

The thing with Ryan is definitely over. We meet up for coffee last week and he was definitely more interesting when I was drunk. He is very cute but not someone who could keep me interested for a long period of time.

Scheduling Problems!!!

I feel like such a retard right now. One of my employees and I are flying down to Laredo for meetings on Monday with our Mexican partners and I created a mess or a "desmadre" like my counterpart told me.
They are under the impression we are meeting all day on Monday and we are under the impression that we are meeting all day on Tuesday. They are going back to Mexico City on Monday night so they won't be able to meet with us on Tuesday and we won't arrive until mid-day on Monday. Anyway, it is a HUGE mess and I am trying to figure things out as I write.
I am going to request that someone else take care of planning from now on.
Maybe I just need a vacation.

Life and the complications it comes with

A few post back I broke about calling my ex seeing how he was doing. Instead I sent him a birthday e-card for his b-day last month and this is the responce I received.

***************************************************************
Cesar,

Thank you so much for remembering the grand 'ol day! Yes, I'm a quarter-of-a-century old now! Can you believe that??

I hope life is treating you well. Everything is just rocking and rolling on this side of the world. Let me know how you're doing. Hey, we never got together for the "catch-up" coffee meet! Are you still interested in doing that sometime soon? Sorry! I'm really bad, you know me!

Hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
***************************************************************

Ivan and I were talking about him last night while we were at the bar The Library, I am not sure how he came up but it was decided it was a good thing I didn't call him. I am curious to see what has been going on in his life for the past 1 so I may reply to this email and try to plan dinner or coffee to catch up.

Not sure yet. What do you think?

the following has been submitted by a guestwriter.

i enjoy checking this site out regularly. the one thing i think is truly unique is cesar’s restaurant choices on the side bar. one additional recommendation...
today i visited grill 400, a locally owned restaurant in dallas. this was my second visit, and a more enjoyable one. the grill, where most items are grilled, is quite the trendy little place in oak cliff. surprised? dont be. you walk in and you can immediately tell you'll love the place. if youre lucky, youll get to sit in the back section; this will allow you to take a close look at the art pieces along the walls. and go ahead and stop to look at the details in the art. most people do. also, feel free to use the crayons provided. recommended plates: salmon (about $16; lunch specials start at $7.)
with that being said, a friend of mine has decided to get married. this is a good thing. it may be a bit early for him to be doing this (he is currently in med school), but hes intelligent and knows what hes doing. and im sure he realizes it may be tough. i met him, mike, during my first semester of grad school. i had known his brother for a long time, so mike and i quickly became very good friends. hes very smart, athletic, and generous (and straight). it didnt take me long to fall for him. no-he never lead me on, or gave me mixed signals. he was just himself. and a very good friend. it was hard for me to return the friendship because of how i felt. the feelings lasted a while. and some may still linger. but i dont always think with my heart. i know whats there and what isnt. he isnt. and thats okay. ive learned to be a better friend to him during the past two years. and he knows that. ive never held on to the idea of us. but on the same note, ive liked the feelings i had. as shitty as they may have been at times.
when he told me of the ring, i stayed quiet for a couple of seconds. then he asked if i wasnt happy for him. of course i was. i am. shes good to him. still, its a little sad, you know. its hard to explain how you sometimes have to suck it up. sometimes, swallowing that knot in your throat works for the best. doing it tho, made me realize what im looking for. im so ready for something like that. and with time, itll happen. when i was at his brother’s wedding last year, i truly felt like i could be that happy one day. as laid back, and fun, and drunk as the groom was, you could clearly see a feeling of security in him and his wife. i think mike is ready for that. and i know i want to be.
this is more personal than i usually get. i cant write about this on my site, so, thanks cesar, for letting me do this.

No A/C in TX? That is just Crazy!!!

I need sleep!!
As always I have been running around way to much these last few days and I have not had a chance to make an entry. I can't wait to be one of those people who are content sitting at home watching t.v. or doing absolutely nothing. I am way to hyper to do any of that right now.

My a/c broke on Monday night and I have been trying to get someone out to repair it. They won't be able to come out until Thursday between 12 and 3 p.m. I have a seminar in Dallas on this day so I wont be home. Luckily my friend Will volunteered to come over and wait for the repair man. Am I lucky or what? I can't remember who I was talking to the other day about friends, it could have been my sister in CA or it could have been my friend Kim, and how lucky I am to have so many good friends in my life. I very rarely use the words "best friend" to describe a friendship I have with someone because I have so many GREAT friends that it would be hard to pick just one or two or three. Instead I use the words "good friends" to describe those people whom I have a close relationship with. I don't know where I was going with that so I will conclude by saying that I am a very lucky person to have so many wonderful people in my life.

If you are reading this...Thank you for being in my life.

Why Me???

I am so freaking bored I don't know what to do with myself. I have nothing to do today and I have been trying to look busy all day. I would go home but I have a Happy Hour for my friend Kerry who is getting married and moving to Minnesota. Kerry, why didn't you make this happy hour at 2 instead of 4? I can't take this anymore. Part of my boredom is that the program that I need to use to write training materials is down so I have to wait until they bring it back up, since it is not a big priority for them it probably won't be back up until Monday.

I have another busy weekend coming up.
Friday I am going to go see the play

La Lupe!

with my friend Seyd and his b/f Ash.
Saturday morning I am getting together with my friend Amy and her husband Dan who I have not seen in about a year. Later I will be visiting with my friend Kim who sent me an email today informing me she will be visiting DFW from California on Saturday. I love it when she is in town because I get to eat all kinds of great Vietnamese food at her mom's house.
I had to change my plans with Tomas for the weekend because of Kim but I am sure he understands. We have not hanged out together on a weekend in a very long time so I am kind of going through Tomas withdrawals. We did get together for dinner this week. He took the day off because a dog bit him on his butt and he had to go get shots. Isn't that funny? Sarah????? Are you reading this???? Now you know why I always warn you about the dogs in our neighborhood when you go on your afternoon walks. See, I am not crazy...strange dogs do bite.

I am not sure what is going on with Brian, we may get to hang out on Sunday.

Miss Universe

Does anyone else think the Miss Universe pageant is rigged? The Miss Universe pageant took place last night in Quito Ecuador and the winner was Miss Australia with the first runner up Miss USA. Miss Australia was beautiful but there were more beautiful, more graceful, more confident woven there such as Miss Paraguay and Miss India. I don’t normally watch beauty pageants but there was nothing else on last night and the heavy rain and tornado warnings kept me inside.
I am just surprised that the only two blonds in the semi-finalist got the two top positions.

Weekend Update

So much has happened since my last post, I can already tell this is going to be a long one.

Antonio (the ex):
I have decided not to call him after all. I am not saying that I don’t love him all of a sudden, not at all. What I am saying is that I thought about all of the good times we had and I thought about all of the bad times we had and it would be a very unwise choice to try to go back to the situation I had before. Don’t get me wrong, he is a great guy he is just not the best guy for me.

The weekend.
I took Friday off and a couple of friends and I drove to Houston for the long weekend and we had such a great time. We met some really great guys from Dallas while we were in Houston, something that we can’t seem to do when we are in Dallas. The three guys from Dallas (we will call them Rene, Brian, and Max) are absolutely great, they are fun, normal, and exciting. I will definitely be hanging out with them in the near future.
We also met some guy from Houston, Dwayne, James, John, and the OH so beautiful, OH so funny, and OH so HOT Adrian (give me a second while my heart skips a beat).

We got there on Friday around 3 p.m. after I got us lost for almost an hour and a half. It was my duty to print directions to the hotel and I got directions to the wrong place. We ended up driving about 1.5 hours out of the way. I know….It was all my fault and I heard about it ALL weekend. We didn’t want to go out to the bars that night because we had plans to get up around 4:30ish to go see a psychic so we just went to the movies and saw DAY AFTER TOMORROW. This is a must see movie. I liked it a lot.

Saturday we went to the psychic and afterwards we picked up Fernando’s friend Rene and went shopping. At first sight Rene seemed very queeny and very snobby but once you get to know him he is a great guy. I had a small crush on him for a day or so. After shopping we go back to the hotel and take a nap because we are all exhausted. We decide to meet Rene and his friend/boyfriend at the bars. When we get there we meet Max, a slightly more mature (mid 30’s), less outgoing person, but he is still a lot of fun. They introduce us to their friends Brian and Dwayne. Brian now lives in Dallas but is originally from Houston. We had a great time on Saturday night, I drank a lot, we didn’t dance at all, and we all fell in love with Brian. Brian has a great body, he probably works out every day of the week. Not only does he have a great body he also has a great personality and is extremely outgoing. After the clubs Rene, Max, and my group head over to Ruchis for an early breakfast.

On Sunday we were invited to a BBQ at Dwayne’s house so we decide to go and hang out with them for a while. We get there and there and everyone from the night before was there so it was very comfortable. There were a few other people there and they were all very cool and down to earth. About 20 minutes after we get there I hear through the gayvine that Brian thinks I am cute. I don’t really pay to much attention to this rumor because I figured my friend who told me had just misunderstood or was taking his comments out of context. I go about my business and Brian and I end up talking for a while. Not in a romantic sort of way but just talking and getting to know each other. After the bbq we end up going back to the hotel and taking a nap because we are going to be going to the bars around 7. The bars were packed for a Sunday night, I have come to the conclusion that Houstonians are a bunch of DRUNKS!! I love them!!!
We meet up with everyone and after a few drinks I end up talking to Brian again, did I mention he is hot? Again not romantically just talking.
About 20 minutes later the most beautiful black man I have ever seen walks over in my direction, gives me a smile and starts talking to me. His name is Adrian he is 26 and he is just perfect. Absolutely perfect. Great smile, great personality, and beautiful. We talk for a while and then his friend comes over and talks to me. Had I not known that Brian was interested in me I would have left with Adrian and had our own fun somewhere else. Anyway, once Adrian walked away it gave Brian the courage to tell me he was interested in me. All it took was someone else showing an interest but he told me. By this time I don’t even know how many drinks we have had but we have been drinking since 7 and it was probably around 10. The drinks just kept coming, I don’t know who was paying for them but I had a drink in my hand at all times.
We decide to leave the bar we were in and walk across the street to a second bar, once there Brian’s best friend Dwayne pulls me aside and either gives me advice or is trying to scare me away. I still can’t decide which. He told me a lot of interesting things about Brian and what I needed to do to make sure I didn’t scare him away. It was a very awkward conversation. Brian and I had the chance to talk through out the night and get to know each other. I was totally drunk so I probably told him a lot more than he should know. At the end of the night he gave me his number and I was suppose to call him on Monday after 3 p.m. when I got back to Fort Worth.
My friend and I ended up going to eat after the bars and while we were sitting there he called one of my friends to talk to me and he called my friend again the next day to tell me he was home. I finally gave him my cell number and agreed that I would call him when I got home. Anyway, we have talked four times and he seems like a great person. I am not sure that it is going anywhere because I am not normally attracted to guys like him but he is the sweetest, smartest guy ever.

Stay tuned. More news to come and I promise I will keep it short.