Thursday, May 13, 2004

Emotionally Drained

Song in my Head: Beautiful Day by U2!

I had an interesting evening last night, after my GMAT class my friend Tomas and I decided to grab a bite to eat. We ended up at this horrible Q'doba/Mexican restaurant wanna be. The food was horrible but the conversation was priceless. Tomas and I have not really been spending a lot of time together these last few months because we have both been really busy but we try to make time for each other at least once a week to grab a cup of coffee or a bite to eat. Besides the GMAT classes we really haven't seen each other outside the class setting in about 3 week's so it gave us the opportunity to catch up.
As I wrote in one of my previous post he is dating his ex again so that topic came up last night and this is how the conversation went "I love him...but he is not good for me...I like him...but he has no goals...He makes me feel good...but what if he goes back to how he use to be" I don't understand people who stay in a bad relationship simply because they have are more afraid to be alone than being miserable. Another thing I don't understand is why people always bad mouth their ex's. I met Tomas right after they broke up so I heard all of the bad stuff that went on in their relationship, to this day I have not heard a good thing that came out of it or a good thing that happened while they were dating. I really tried not to give my opinion but I am not very good at showing fake emotions, I kept telling him how happy I was that he was happy but he didn't believe me and eventually we had to talk about it. I won't go into all of the details but I really just want Tomas to be happy and I don't think he is going to find happiness with this guy. He is a big boy, he will figure it out on his own.

Who knew that talking about Chris would open up another can of worms!! The conversation moved to how different Tomas and I are. I have always known we are different but it has never bothered me but I didn't realize that it bothered Tomas. I kind of like the fact that we are different and the fact that we have totally different view points on just about everything. Apparently one of his big issues with me is that he feels dumb when he is around me and my friends and I don't understand why because he is very smart himself. He thinks I am really smart and I don't think I am smart at all. To me smart means being like my friend Sarah or Amy, now they are smart. It just seems to come naturally to them but I have to work very hard for the knowledge I have gained. I don't think I am smart, I just think I try harder than some people.

His other issue with me is that he thinks I am a snob. Smart I don't have a problem admitting to but snob, now snob is another story...I AM NOT A SNOB AT ALL. I am pretty friendly, for the most part, and I get along with just about everyone. The difference between us is the he will talk to anyone, and I mean anyone, and I am more selective about who I choose to be friends with or who I strike up a conversation with. I don't think that makes me snob I just think it makes me...Selective.

One of the biggest issues we have had during our friendship is planning. At the beginning when we use to make plans we would always end up canceling on each other because our concept of time is so different. When he says lets spend Saturday together he means we will get together around 3 or 4 p.m. and spend the rest of the day together. When I say lets spend Saturday together I mean from 10 a.m. on. Tomas has been very accommodating and thanks to Tomas we have worked through most of these planning issues.

I love Tomas, in a brotherly way, and I would not give him up for anything. It is going to be really hard for me to get use to his ex boyfriend because I really don't like him. His ex is already talking about getting together with me so I can give him a second chance and I really don't want to do it. If they decided to see each other exclusively I will make an effort but until then I don't want to waste my time.

My biggest issue with Tomas is that he doesn't respect my differences.

His fly by the seem of the pants attitude is very refreshing. I am a planner, I like to plan what I am going to do, I like to plan where I will be and I like to know it is going to happen. Tomas is more of a "lets get this done so we can move on to the next thing" kind of guy. He doesn't plan and just likes to enjoy life one day at a time.

We had to cut our conversation short because my sister called me and her husband who is remodeling their home accidentally ripped the electricity wire out of their wall so they didn't have electricity and they wanted to spend the night at my house.

That was my evening, by the time I went to bed I was very glad my day was over and I was looking forward to my Happy Hour on Thursday. Free drinks and food, who would pass that up?

1 comment:

Just Me said...

Seyd, are you kidding? You are super smart.