Life and the challenges that Come with It.

I haven't really been blogging lately I think it is because I don't really have much to say. I know that is shocking for those of you who know me but I seem to be going through a very busy time in my life where I have a million and one things going at the same time and they are keeping me very busy. I became involved with a gay organization in town and it is taking up a lot more time than I expected. I won't be writing to much about the group and I will try to keep my personal life and my group life as separated as possible but I am having fun. I have met a lot of interesting people and I think it will help me grow as a person.

I am not going to write about the Austin trip Chico and I took a few weeks ago, Chico did a very good job at recapping that trip. I did have a blast and we are planning on going back the weekend of March the 11th to attend a political event.

I am going to Vegas this weekend and I plan on having a good time. I will be in the City of Sin, I may sin a little :) or not, you know me. I am just excited to get away from work and DFW for a while. It is suppose to rain most of the time we are there so I hope we can find things to do. I went and had lunch with Sarah and Eli on Wednesday and Sarah gave me good suggestions on what to do. My parents are still planning on joining us for the weekend. My mom called me tonight and her arm is hurting a lot. Did I mention that she fell and broke her arm about two months ago? Well, they took the cast off today and apparently she is in a lot of pain. If she is still in pain this weekend she will reconsider going to Vegas but I think my dad and sister will still go.

I still don't have a dog. I can't seem to find a dog that I like. I may just have to get a black and white poodle. But can you really see me walking a poodle? We will see, I don't want to get a dog that I will be ashamed to walk. By the way, I am still taking donations for my labradoodle, you can just send them directly to my house. :)

My economics class is killing me and Wade isn't as much help as I hoped he would be. He is always working and by the time he is on his way home I am already asleep. I have decided that being a restauranteur is not worth the pain and sacrifice. I hear what the poor guy has to deal and I am not sure it is worth it (for me). Now when we talk it is mostly about recipe's (not that I mind, you know I salivate talking about food)and about what is going on with the restaurants. I guess I should give an update on what is going on with Wade.....but perhaps that will happen another night.

I guess I had a lot more to say than I thought. By the way...I am really glad that you guys started blogging again. :)

It's 10:30 p.m. do you know where your Cesar is?

Yes, it is 10:30 at night and I am still at work. We are going live with a new system on Monday and we are trying to get everything done by tomorrow so that we don't have to come to work on Friday.
They are still working on setting up the servers and it is going to take them another 45 minutes. By the time we test and verify the system it will be 1 or 2 in the morning. We all have to be back up here at 7 a.m. to continue with the second server. Yawn. I am so tired...I am at the point of exhaustion.

I am driving to Houston with Chico tomorrow. I am going to be such a poor traveling companion. The good thing is that it is Chico and that we get to go :) For a while I thought we were going to have to cancel because I was going to have to work this weekend but it has been confirmed and I am out of here.

Right now we are living off of coffee, pizza, cookies, and stolen creamer. If we stay here much longer we are going to have to go and raid the refrigerator on other floors.

Another Sleepless Night

I am beginning to thing I have a problem, I can't seem to get a good night's sleep these days. Well, unless I have been drinking and then I can sleep like a log.

I had a pretty productive weekend. Saturday was kind of busy but I got a lot done. I met a friend in HEB for boba tea and after that I decided to get a hair cut at the salon next door. It took the lady forty-five (45) minutes to cut my hair. She was very meticulous, if she saw a hair out of place she would go through and make sure everything was perfect. She was the nicest lady but it just took way to long. It was the LONGEST HAIRCUT EVER. On a good note, they are a full fledge salon and also do facials. I made an appointment for next Sunday. If I like them I will be switching from my facial lady to this new lady. She is much closer and a lot less expensive.

Saturday night I headed out to Gayville with Chico and I had a good time. I had not been to the clubs in a few weeks. The last few times I have been at the bars/clubs they have been a bit empty. After Jr's and Station 4 we headed to The Brick. The Brick is a Black Gay club in Dallas. It was crowded and full of hot men. Next time we are going to have to go there first and then head out to the mainstream gay bars. The Brick reminds me of Pendulum but with a....a...ghetto crowd. Which isn't bad, there is nothing better that hot ghetto men.

Sunday was pretty uneventful, I did some homework, visited with family, and went grocery shopping. It doesn't sound like much, but I slept until 12:30...it was great.

That is all for now, have a great week.

I can't sleep.

It is 1:15 a.m. and I can't get to sleep. I have been so tired all day and looking forward to going to bed but now no matter what I do I can't fall asleep. I tried laying there praying but that didn't work...I pretty much tried everything...so now I am blogging. I wish someone was up to keep me company, I called Wade but he is asleep....I am going to have to get everyone's sleep schedule in case I have another of these nights. I may just start doing homework.

How did you sleep last night?

Does anyone blog these days?

After several weeks of not posting a blog or reading other peoples blogs I have decided to continue blogging. This morning I went to everyone's blog that I use to read and I have discovered that some blogs are no longer active or that nobody is posting anymore. What gives? Was blogging truly only a phase? Is everyone taking a break?

I will continue to blog as much as possible. I have decided to cut down on the "personal" information that I post on my blog just in case people do read it but I will continue to blog. One of these days I will do a picture blog. I am excited about the possibilities.

Are you still blogging? If not, why did you stop?

Are people truly capable of changing?

I ask myself this question because my sister’s husband, whom I never liked, is all of a sudden a decent human being. My sister has been married for almost 13 years and I have never liked the guy. He has always been inattentive and condescending. I normally only see him once a year during the holidays and over the years he has been changing. This year when they showed up at my house for Christmas he seems like a completely different person.
My sister had surgery two weeks ago and is not able to walk. Right now she is constrained to a wheel chair and to a recliner. Throughout this whole ordeal he has been very attentive towards her, making sure she eats the right kinds of food, gives her a bath every day, and takes care of her wound. Not only that, he feeds and makes sure the kids are doing what they are suppose to do and cleans house.
How does someone go from being a total and complete jerk a few years ago to this?

Are people truly capable of change or is this change temporary?

Fire!!!!

I was driving to work this morning and I saw smoke coming from the general direction where I work and at that very instant I wished it was my office building that was burning so that I didn't have to go in to work today.
It was then that I realized I need a new job or a new position.

Birds of a Feather Flock Together.

Is the old adage true? Do individuals of like character tend to stay together?
A friend of mine had a small gathering over the weekend and I was invited. When I got there and started mingling with the other guest I quickly found out everyone there had issues. One of the guest is on medication to help him with his abandonment issues, another is on medication for depression, another has self esteem issues, and another one brought her gay boyfriend and she really didn't have a clue he was gay. Through out the night I kept meeting people with similar issues, luckily it wasn't a big party.
So I started thinking, if all of the host's friends have issues and the saying is true, am I as bad as these people? And if I am, are my friends a good representation of who I am?

Update on Life

It has been a long time since I have made an update to my blog, so here is an all inclusive update on life as I know it.

School is over and done with for the semester. I don’t have to start back up with school until January. I am going to use the next month to relax and do absolutely nothing. I plan on reading a lot and catching up on all of the books that I have on my “To Read” list.

Tomorrow I start my meditation class. I am going to a Zen Monastery and I am going to learn to relax and clear my mind, something that I am not able to do on my own. I am really excited about it.

There really isn’t much to report on the love life. Or nothing I want to publish for all to read anyway.

The project I was working on for work is complete, well the first phase is anyway, and everyone has been coming by and telling me what a great job we did. Which makes me feel great, especially after all I had to go do make sure things went the way they were suppose to. According to everyone, it was the smoothest project in our work history, which says a lot about the people we had on the project. My stress is finally over, I can go back to sleeping and working normal hours. I have even been leaving early this week.

The second and third phase of the project have begun. The second phase is not going to be as hard or require me to be so dedicated and the third phase mostly involves the broker and the software company. Life is great.

Is the word Awesome making a come back? I have heard more people use the word Awesome these last few days than I have all year. Am I just so out of the loop on this or is such an early 90’s word? Next thing you know we are going to be walking around saying SWEET.

First MBA Semester

As of today I am officially finished with my first semester of my MBA work. I have completed my last paper and I will be turning it in shortly.
It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, it was definitely a lot of work but nothing that I can't handle. There isn't anything I can take in the mini-mester so I am done for a while.

I am going to catch up on my reading, world events, and social life.

Blond Moment Two

I have been having way to many blond moments lately. I think it is partly due to the fact that I am overworked and sleep deprived.
On Saturday morning I was having a pancake breakfast with Dameyun and I was trying to pour syrup on my pancakes and instead I poured coffee on my pancake's. Luckily it only got on the top one and I was able to eat the other two. I was so embarrassed, here I am with a guy I somewhat like and I am being a total dumb ass. He thought it was funny and we just laughed it off. By Wednesday I should be all caught up on my sleep and I won't have to work so much, I see the light.

I feel like a blond

I went to Blockbuster to return a movie and I figured that I would run by the library and return a book on the same run since both are relatively close to each other. I got to blockbuster and I had so many other things on my mind that I dropped the book off in the Blockbuster drop box and when I got to the library I noticed I still had the movie with me. I had to go back to Blockbuster and ask for the movie back, it was rather embarrassing especially since it was the cute guy that works there that was at the return counter.
There goes my chances of going out on a date with him.

Black Like Me

I made an amazing discovery today. I discovered the public library. I went to the public library for the first time in almost nine years. I was amazed to see that they still had me in their system and did not have to re-apply to get a new library card. I went to the library to do some research for my Human behavior paper, which I am happy to say is about 95% complete.
I should be working on my stats paper but decided to make an entry instead.

While at the library I wandered through my favorite sections at the book store and found some really good books on religion and cultural issues. I decided to get two books, 1. The Hispanic Condition by Ilan Stavans and 2. Black Like me by John Howard Griffin. I imediately started to read Black Like Me and put my research aside.

For those who have not read Black Like Me here is a synopsis. The author, John Howard, changes the pigment of his skin to try to get a feeling of how it truly felt to be black. Keep in mind that this book was written back in 1959 and the racial conditions of the time were a lot different. Every time I saw the words Negro and nigger I was surprised and I had to remember what I was reading. Back to my summary, at first I was concerned that the author was going to be biased and that simply changing his skin color was going to give him a an accurate view of what was going on in the south but I believe that as time passed and he lived the life of a black man he got to experience the same things blacks did back then. Another thing that concerned me was that there are certain cultural norms and standards that are ingrained in all of us and not having grown up black he would have missed some of those things. But so far I think he is doing a great job. I am only on page 89 and I still have a ways to go before I finish but it looks like a great book.

Pick it up and let me know what you think.

Stress

I don't think I am handling stress as well as I use to in my younger days. Before I was able to work better under stress but these days with everything that I have going on it seems like I am more frazzled that normal. I can't wait for classes to be over in two weeks so that I can actually take a moment to relax and rest. My classes and the big project I am working on at work both end on the same day, on the 15th of November I am going to want to celebrate. You guys better be ready for me.

Thanks for the Memories

What do you say when something that could have been, something that was, or something that you wanted to be is over. I guess there really isn't much to say except "Thanks for the memories."

People...people..who need people...

I stayed home today because I was not feeling well. I woke up late, did some homework, took a nap, I did all of the things you should do when you are home but really should be at work. :)

I am not normally at home during the day and I am sure that neither are any of you that read this, but do you guys realize how many people come around and ring your doorbell while you are gone?
Just today I had Nanette(?) come by and try to sell me magazines.
Jim came by and tried to sell me service for cable.
And I had religious people come by and invite me their church.

So I started to think, what if they really weren't with these organizations and were just the decoy to come to your house, find out if someone was home, and if nobody is home they call their back up and the take everything you own. What if?

Can you tell I am bored? Staying home is not as fun as I thought it was going to be but I did get a lot done.

People, People who need people. Are the most wonderful people.....(sing along with me).

Damn Religious People!!!

O.K. I confess...I don't hate republicans. What I do hate are those over the top religious fanatics who go around imposing their believes on other people!!!

Comments from October 13 Posting

That jerk probably believes that everyone who is not catholic is going to hell!! What ever happened to not judging your fellow brothers and sisters? I really hope god takes compassion on his/her soul for all of the hatred he/she is spreading around.

Damn Republicans!!!!

That is the first thing I thought when I got home from work today and my Kerry/Edwards lawn sign was in pieces on my front porch. I was so mad!!! After my first sign was stolen and with all of the reports of signs being removed from yards by republicans, that was the fist conclusion I jumped to.

Later, I went back outside and I noticed that my yard had been mowed and I realized that my neighbor was probably out moving his yard with his riding mower and just decided to do mine while he was at it. I have been so swamped with work and school work that I was relieved that I did not have to do it myself.

I probably shouldn't have prematurely accused the republicans. I love my republican and democrat brothers and sisters alike.

My birthday will never be the same again!!!

There is a new position that became available in our department and they have asked if one of my employees is interested in applying. It is not just one of....it is the best employee ever. I talked to her about it and she has decided to leave my department because it is a promotion. I am very sad, I want to cry. Why would they deliver this horrible news on my b-day? I don’t even feel like celebrating anymore.

Horrible news!!!

Fear

We all know what are the things we need to change in our lives to make them happier but at times we are unable to make those changes.
Our heart tells us what it is we need to do, but yet we ignore it.

What is it about fear that leaves you paralyzed? What is it about the unknown that keeps you from making changes?