Complicated Affection

This is a long post. Don't read it. :)

I don't normally get to personal on my blog. I tend to keep my feelings to myself and most people I know are use to that (one of the promises with myself was to be more open with my feelings this year).

I have mentioned the writter I was dating. He is a great guy but unfortunately things didn't work out between us. We gave it a good try...and even broke up 3 to 5 times in a short two month period.

Although it has been over for about a month we had to have another break up conversation at the begining of the week wich was very hard for both of us. I am not really sure why I am writting about this...maybe just to have a record to look back on later...maybe it's just to help me feel better about the whole thing...not sure.

I received an email from him today with a wonderful story about his life. He is a great writter and I know he will one day write a book that will be on Oprah's Reading Club and in all the top selling list. He is a great writter and I am privy to the story ideas he has in his head. We use to lay in bed or sit around and he would tell me about the books he was working on and the characters he had planned out.

When I first met him he had stopped writting because of life and the problems that comes with it. I tend to push people a little harder than they push themselves...sometimes it's a blessing and sometimes its a curse. I also tend to date guys who have great potential but haven't realized it themselves and I usually push them...not in a nagging way but I plant ideas in their heads that makes them want to push themselves harder. I kind of did that with the writter.

I am not in any way trying to take credit for all of the work on his novels. I guess what I am tring to say is that this year I will work on myself and let the guys I date be who they want to be. I will also only be dating one guy at a time.